Sky is falling. Damage estimate to follow.

faith based initiative

2009-12-17T09:32:37Z

I don't go for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cos ideas are tenacious
it means they are worthy
I get freaked out by churches
Some of the hymns that they sing have nice chords
but the lyrics are dodgy
And yes I have all of the usual objections to the miseducation
Of children forced into a cult institution
and taught to externalise blame
And to feel ashamed and to judge things as plain right and wrong
But I quite like the songs

1. I’ve rekindled my addiction to books, and MY GOD I HAVE MISSED IT SO! I know I sound like an absolutely pretentious twit, but there is nothing more perfect than curling up in a large armchair with a cup of peppermint tea and a pile of books and forgetting that the rest of the world exists.

2. On a related note, my parents have placed a draconian limit on the number of books I can take to Fiji. Four. I’m there for seven days, and I’m only allowed four books. This is surely a breach of human rights and I am filing a complaint with the United Nations post-haste. My sister, it seems, will not be bribed into carrying more books for me (the bitch) so I’m being forced to cut down on my list of overseas reading. I expect to be a sobbing wreck for much of this process.

3. I make a rather delicious vegan shortbread.

4. I have the neck muscles of an eighty-year old. I’d like to attribute it to years of rocking out and head banging in dangerous and totally punk mosh-pits, but no. I just fucked it up years ago and it never healed. Thanks for ruining the one rockstar thing in my life, Dale.

5. John Safran’s ‘Media Tycoon’ is worth watching just for the infamous Ray Martin tantrum.

6. Fuckwits Conroy and Rudd are introducing mandatory internet filtering. Ah, censorship. Along with pro-choice and equal marriage issues, it is one of the few things I will dedicate my time and money to fighting. And because we aren’t subject to censorship yet: FUCK YOU CONROY, YOU CUNTING ASS-LICKING PIECE OF BOLLOCKING WANKSHITE.

7. My father has declared a personal vendetta against Professor Plimer after watching Lateline. Word to the wise: besmirching the name of David Suzuki will have my usually calm dad hunting for a shotgun and muttering “bastard! wanker!” under his breath for a good three days.

8. I was inadvertently and unknowingly involved in a flashmob at Homebake. HURRAH! DREAM FUFILLED! Admittedly, it was only the Nutbush, and I was not the most sober of individuals at that point, but it was fun and apparently pre-planned and I can now cross something else off of my Bucket List.

9. I passed my A.B.A evaluation with flying colours, and was offered the job working with Riley again for 2010. Best job, best employers, extremely happy Bec.

10. Dumbledore’s Vegan Army not only exists, but also has a rather lovely recipe for Pumpkin Pasties.

nerd, nerd, glorious nerd.

2009-12-13T13:46:12Z

1. What are you reading now?

Charles Kingsford-Smith and Those Magnificent Men by Peter Fitzsimons. I prefer his work on wartime experiences (Kokoda, Tobruk, etc.), but anything Fitzy writes makes me weak at the knees and this is no exception.

2. What is your favourite book?

At the moment, it’s Orwell’s 1984. Finished re-reading it last week, and it really is one of the few books that is different every time you read it. Plus I’m a sucker for anti-government conspiracy theories.

3. What is your earliest memory of books?

Browsing the dusty shelves of Richard’s Old Bookshop in Long Jetty and being thrilled that I was allowed to buy “as many books as I could carry.” Reading Roald Dahl on long car-trips to Melbourne. Oh, and being that weird kid in the playground at school who was reading instead of playing with the other children.

4. What is the book that changed your life?

Cloudstreet by Tim Winton. It was a light-bulb moment of writing so exquisite and perfect that it took my breath away; oh, so *this* is how literature is supposed to be!

5. Most over rated book?

Anything written by J.R.R Tolkien, or as I refer to him “the bastard who stole a day from my life with his trashy and awful excuse for a trilogy.”

Also, Marcus Zusak’s The Book Thief. I really honestly tried to like it – everyone I’d spoken to had raved about it, and hating a Holocaust book seems both needlessly callous and the quickest way to turn everyone against you. It struck me as one of those books that tried to be smarter than it was; in its attempts to be poetic and profound, it results in annoying and sometimes truly awful massacres of language and style. Please, somebody, tell me what I’m missing here.

6. Best and worst film adaptation?

Best – To Kill A Mockingbird and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The choices of which have absolutely nothing to do with childhood crushes on both Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn. Honest. The Green Mile was also extraordinary.

Worst – The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Selfishly, because it was polar opposite to how I had imagined it for all these years.

7. How do you choose what book to read next?

Wandering aimlessly through bookshops and libraries, mostly. Also, I’m incredibly lucky to have parents (especially Dad) who are obsessed with reading, so the house is overflowing with books on every conceivable subject, making it easy to choose one at random.

8. How often do you abandon a book after you've started reading it?

Not at all, if I can avoid it. I learnt my lesson from when I was younger; I gave up on so many ‘boring’ books that I re-discovered later and adored. So no matter how tedious or awful, I’ll usually trudge through until the very end. (Except for fucking Twilight. Another lesson learnt from childhood: there are some authors who are irredeemable – namely, Tolkien and Meyers.)

9. Where do you read?

Everywhere and anywhere. I still have to be reminded by my mother that at extended family gatherings it is not appropriate to sneak off into a hidden corner and indulge in a little Tolstoy (which, given the nature of my extended family, seems grossly unfair.) More than once I’ve gone to sleepovers at friend’s houses only to browse their bookshelf and subsequently ignore the lot of them. Essentially, I’m that woman who reads while waiting in line at the bank.

10. What fictional character would you most like to be?

Toad from Kenneth Grahame’s The Wind in the Willows. Pompous, lazy, conceited, self-centred, self-destructive, impulsive and disgustingly rich; in other words, the one that has all the fun.

manchester part two

2009-12-10T00:21:11Z

It's just a fad
Part of the teenage angst brigade
And I'm not
Not sure
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

1. Robbie, Marieke and the Doctor’s final show on Triple J Breakfast was emotional enough to make me sob into my morning coffee for a good four hours. YES I REALISE HOW PATHETIC THIS IS STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’VE GROWN A SECOND HEAD I HAVE EMOTIONS TOO YOU KNOW.

2. Dools quit Triple J, and is now part of Nova’s breakfast team. *headdesk*

3. Daniel Johns’ perpetual slur is adorable. As is the fact that an interview about the new Silverchair album turns into a five minute discussion with Robbie Buck about fly fishing.

4. The quickest and most effective way to piss me off is to question / scrutinise my eating habits.

5. Homebake is my favourite place in the entire world.

6. Louise got permanent residency, and thus won’t be deported back to Belgian-land. HURRAH!

7. In the past three months, I’ve spent more money on tattoos / booze / partying than I have on groceries. Whoops. At least I’m effectively fulfilling the cliché of the uni student.

8. HBO’s ‘John Adams’ is brilliant, and Paul Giamatti will be forevermore the vain, elitist, egotistical, honourable second President of the United States.

9. 27 Nickson Street, Surry Hills is my dream house. Three bedrooms, attic, fireplaces, open plan living / kitchen area, garden, garage, balconies, terrace, fifteen minute walk to Central station ... *real estate swoon*

10. After watching the Across the Great Divide DVDs, there is no doubt in my mind that PowderChair is just a giant ball of slash.

homebake is my spiritual home.

2009-12-06T06:42:39Z

My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
Must be when you
Pack up and go.

1. Philly Jays are, without a doubt, one of the best live bands I’ve ever seen.

2. Boy & Bear are absolutely gorgeous. Four part vocal harmonies, beautiful songs and serious talent.

3. Closure in Moscow may have some good songs, but they’re a bunch of absolute wankers.

4. Not only is Jonathan Boulet insanely wonderful, but he’s also far too pretty for a boy.

5. Parades have a lot of potential, but it wasn’t until the final two songs of their set that they started to get over the awful sound mixing and lack of charisma.

6. The Hopetoun Stage is a shitty place to try and photograph anything.

7. The Funkoars are effing fantastic, and their crowd is a great place to get one’s trashwhore on.

8. I attract the stoners and those pinging off their mind.

9. Those people are so much fun.

10. Paul Dempsey is undoubtedly one of my favourite live acts. He’s just freakin’ lovely. (“What the fuck are all you people doing at my set?!? Eskimo Joe are on over at the Main Stage!”)

11. Speaking of, Eskimo Joe redeemed themselves somewhat yesterday. Caught the tail end of their set after Mr Dempsey, and they weren’t the steaming pile of shit they were at every other festival I’ve seen them at.

12. Smirnoff Double Blacks make $5 hokkien noodles taste really good.

13. The Hilltop Hoods are the reason Australian hip hop is so good, and there is honestly nothing like being towards the front of a mosh pit with eight thousand screaming mental fans when ‘Nosebleed Section’ goes off.

14. Daniel Merriweather sets come complete with bonus Phrase!

15. Spending a solid hour getting absolutely trashed with strangers makes Jet seem almost bearable.

16. I am champion at finding people in crowded mosh pits.

17. Having said friends being fans of Jet ensures that you get an awesome position for Powderfinger.

18. ‘The Metre’ live is eighty thousand times more emotional than the album version. Managed to hold it together. Just.

19. Singing along with twenty thousand people to ‘My Happiness’ was one of the best five minutes of my life.

20. Bernard Fanning is hilarious. (“Yeah, we stole this from Led Zep, and the Wolfmother stole it from us, and now we’re stealing it back, motherfuckers! *jigs*”)

21. I can get to the front of almost any crowd. I am small and nimble and quick like the wind.

22. As much as I enjoyed hanging out with friends, some of my favourite times were partying in a mosh pit with complete strangers, not having to worry about anyone else but myself and being able to talk / dance / drink / share a joint with people without getting judged for it. I don’t think that makes be a bad person... maybe just a decidedly independent one?

23. Homebake is my favourite place in the entire world.

ways and means

2009-12-01T10:47:23Z

This world it is not safe
We must make plans to leave this place
We'll build a colony
On nearby planets known to me
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried
I tried to warn them it's too late
I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
I'll try my luck in outer space
Farewell rocketship.

1. Jessica Mauboy’s predicted ‘Gabriella Chilmi-esque’ sweep of the ARIAS came to, in actual fact... one ARIA. For highest selling single. Australian music industry, thank you for restoring my faith.

2. Marieke Hardy is the sweetest, most adorable person on the planet. She’s eighteen times more attractive in person than she is on tv, and eleven thousand times more lovable than you could possibly imagine. How do I know this? The Smirnoff Crew met her at the Get Bucked Up party, we chatted with her for a good ten minutes, and I can now die happy. Even straight-as-an-arrow Shannon had a moment of swooning. (Being the raging lesbian that I am, I was of course rendered speechless for the remainder of the evening.)

3. If Bob Ellis and Annabel Crabb had a child, it would probably achieve world domination by age five. And I would be totally ok with that.

4. My five most tweeted words are “love” “watching” “people” “time” “fuck.” With a list like that it’s much harder to convince people that I’m not a creeper.

5. Not only is Josh Thomas gay, but he’s dating Tom Ballard. Most. Adorable. Couple. Ever.

6. I’m only willing to protest when it directly affects me. Refugee rights? Sad, but eh. Indigenous land rights? Couldn’t care less. Same-sex marriage bans? PASS ME MY PLACARD LET US TAKE TO THE STREETS AT ONCE.

7. Apparently, the Triple J breakfast team making the full-page Ian Ross tribute in the newspaper into a mask is ‘offensive’ and ‘degrading.’ I also learnt that the Daily Telegraph has a giant pole up its arse.

8. I may have a slight addiction to livetweeting music and political events.

9. Tony Abbott is now the Leader of the Federal Opposition Party. By a margin of one vote, the Coalition rejected the popularity of Hockey and the pragmatism of Turnball and instead went with the guy who described himself as (I’m not kidding) the “ideological love-child of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop,” and who feels it’s appropriate to do press shoots in Speedos (oh, how I wishing I was kidding.) It’s going to be an interesting few months in Australian politics.

10. There is something oddly hypnotising about the Paul Simon + Chevy Chase filmclip for ‘You Can Call Me Al.’

five votes down

2009-11-25T00:19:32Z

I'm digging a hole just staring at the floor
Now every t-shirt's got a wine stain
I'm loving cigarettes again

1. Peter Cundall is a bloomin’ legend.

2. Mumford & Sons are headlining gigs in February 2010 at Oxford Art Factory. Try and stay cool, Bec, don’t squeal, maintain what little music credibility you have left...

3. You have not seen adorable until you’ve seen a black, punk rock guinea pig frolic under the garden hose a la Gene Kelly.

4. My new pet hate is philosophers and theologians who masquerade as historians. If you don’t have the training in academic history, please please PLEASE don’t produce history programs – when you do, you make my entire field of academia look unprofessional and pathetic. Your work reads like a first year humanities paper: no coherent line of argument, little to no examination of evidence and sources, horrendous generalisations of epochs and civilisations, and a complete neglect of contextual considerations. Fuck! You’re not ‘revisionist,’ you’re just completely bloody ignorant of the existing body of work. Please fuck off back to your philosophy departments and leave the field of history to people who actually know what the fuck they’re doing. /endrant/

5. Fishville is much less stressful that Farmville. Prettier, too.

6. Tom & Alex are replacing Robbie, Marieke and the Doctor for the 2010 Triple J Breakfast Show. My stalking of Marieke just got that much harder.

7. The best atheist analogy I’ve ever heard comes courtesy of Josh Thomas on the GNW finale – “A Christian telling me I’m going to hell is like a hippie telling me they’re going to punch me in my aura.”

8. I’m going to Fiji on the 6^th January for seven nights. Surprise family holiday, whoo! Am disgustingly excited.

9. Watching the Libs completely implode in Canberra is one of the most amusing things I’ve seen all year. Now all we need is an Abbott/Andrews leadership coup at 1pm today for the lols to keep on rollin’.

10. Toukley at 9am is full of old people. Really old people.

stirred

2009-11-17T09:08:26Z

See they've been stumbling on the backstreets
Honey I won't give in
No I won't give in
'Cause my love's not a limit
So won't you keep from the beggars and bones
For the night comes to bring them home
And if they manage to keep safe skin
He'll call for her
She'll call for him

1. Using the phrase “real coke” on Twitter will get you a number of concerned tweets making sure you’re not snorting cocaine. I meant Coca-Cola, kids. Honestly, just how bad must ones reputation be when perfect strangers automatically assume you’re getting wasted on a Tuesday night?

2. Itch-e and Scratch-e are reforming and releasing a new album in 2010. Excuse me while I HYPERVENTILATE IN EXCITEMENT. Their first major gig will be at BDO, which I don’t have a ticket for thanks to the shit headliners, so I haven’t ruled out indulging in the age-old festival tradition of gate-jumping. Watch this space, because it’s entirely possible that 2010 will be the year that Bec finally gets arrested.

3. Rwanda has the highest percentage of female politicians in the world.

4. The quote “I’ll stop the rain when you stop the car-jackings, Colleen” still makes me cry with laughter, even after the eighty-third watching of Here & Now. *golf claps* to Ellen.

5. Daniel Merriweather’s ‘Red’ breaks my heart every single time I listen to it. Which bodes well for seeing him live next month.

6. As of 11:49am on November 14^th, I had been tweeting for eight months, one week, six days, ten hours, eight minutes and fifty-three seconds.

7. Epiphanies from lookbook.nu: Russians are ethereal, Australians are hipsters, and the French never eat. Tune in next week for more baseless generalisations of entire races of people!

8. My faith in humanity is too easily restored. One free Cleo magazine from the loveliest newsagent in the world and a hilarious bus driver ("coz it's Monday, lil' darlin', an' Mondays are for fightin' the Indians over them there hills") and I’m all ‘yay people!’

9. Hawkesbury River station is not the most fun of places to spend an HOUR AND A HALF OF YOUR LIFE WAITING FOR CITYRAIL TO GET ITS SHIT TOGETHER.

10. If you bitch about mess+noise, they’ll retaliate. Viciously. Why, they’ll... follow your Twitter. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

the stackhouse filibuster

2009-11-10T10:19:28Z

Baby, did you forget to take your meds?

1. I have a slight obsession with flashmobs.

2. Powderfinger is actually the slashiest band in Australia. And I say that as someone who is a (mega)fan of Silverchair and who has the LAS booklets with the insane amount of Dan/Ben/Chris manlove.

3. Julian Morrow’s Andrew Olle Media Lecture was sheer brilliance. Seriously. If you haven’t seen it, Google the transcript.

4. The US Congress passed the health care reform 220-215. Hurrah!

5. They also passed the Stupak Amendment 240-194. Fucking bollocking clusterfuck of anti-choice fucking wankshite.

6. Some days, uni is high school version 2.0, with more people and less uniforms.

7. My crush on Virginia Gay didn’t go away with the end of All Saints. *swoon*

8. Karl Pearson should have been stabbed with a spiky scattergraph before his evil could be wrought upon the world.

9. The bathrooms in C5C have sensor flush toilets. Lisa keeps me informed of the most important of Macq Uni news, and I thank her for it =]

10. Red wine and Diorama in the sunshine is the best way to spend a Sunday arvo. Or any arvo, really. Or morning. I'm not fussy.

life on mars

2009-11-04T03:15:19Z

Remember when we were falling down?
Well we're falling down again.

1. Reliving you childhood at age twenty is effing awesome. Dinosaur colouring-in book + triangular crayons + Disney movies. Hell. Yes.

2. Junglist and Bajo broke up. =[

3. Nothing cheers me up quite so much as going through the LAS 2009 Membership Pack while listening to Daniel Johns smash the vocals on Across the Night.

4. Twitter lists are pointless.

5. Dresses that cost $1 are infinitely awesome.

6. The Steam Pipe Trunk Distribution Venue is located on level four of the Macq Uni library. Dear Matt Connors: I don’t know you, but you are my new favourite librarian. Love, a fellow West Wing obsessive.

7. Related: Bradley Whitford is in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants movie. You know you’re a little too involved in TWW universe when one of the characters in the movie throws a rock at a window and your first thought is ‘Oh no, now Josh’s PTSD will flare up and he won’t cope and Leo will have to get Stanley back in and... oh, right. Wrong show.’

8. I am fantastic at making decisions for other people.

9. Having a best friend who knows you better than you know yourself is lovely, until you’re stuck in a car with them and they’re recreating the Spanish Inquisition with frightening accuracy.

10. 12-15-22-05 09-19 01-12-12 25-15-21 14-05-05-04.

take out the trash day

2009-10-28T02:45:58Z

Welcome, strangers, to the show
I'm the one who should be lying low
Saw the knives out, turned my back
Heard the train coming, stayed out on the track

1. The seven year old autistic boy I work with, Riley, has the exact same music taste in music as me. Which is fantastic, given I’m getting paid to talk to him about Silverchair and Foo Fighters, but it does make me question just how evolved my musical sensibilities are.

2. www.wwwdotcom.com exists, and amuses me greatly.

3. There are two types of vegans in the world. The first group are laid-back, witty, charming and attractive individuals who don’t care whether other people are vegan or not and who have little (if anything) to do with the animal liberation movement. The second group are paint-throwing, tree hugging, people-hating, hardcore P.E.T.A fanatics, and are frankly fucking insane. The latter of these groups dominate the majority of vegan comms on lj, and some gems include the declaration that living with non-vegans diminishes your own veganism, and feeding meat to your pet dogs is tantamount to animal abuse. Oh, and you know those anti-psychotic meds that stop you jumping off tall buildings and hearing voices? They may have been tested on animals so you should refuse to take them, otherwise you’re practically a carnivore!!!111one!! Makes me embarrassed to be vegan. Wankers. /endrant/

4. Brad Garret (the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond) was the voice of Wizard Whitebeard from the old Where’s Wally tv series; David Ogden Spiers (Charles from M*A*S*H) was the voice of Governor Ratcliff from Pocahontas. Thank you, awesome nineties childhood.

5. You know you have a serious addiction to Wasabi Peas when your mother asks you why there are six packets in the pantry, and you immediately start panicking because that is not nearly enough to get you through the week.

6. The plural of ‘Pegasus’ is ‘pegasi.’

7. Suzi Q from Holdfast Tattoo in Perth is going to be at the Sydney Tattoo Expo in 2010. Whoo-hoo! Fingers crossed that I get one of the last spots to get some original Suzi Q ink *nervous wait*

8. As of October 31^st 2009, Mercy Ministries will cease to operate in Sydney. About. Fucking. Time.

9. Virginia Gay is eighty-three kinds of adorable.

10. The Magic Bullet infomercial has its own review. And it’s brilliant.

“Although the Magic Bullet infomercial may be vague on what actually happened at the "barbecue" the day before, you can be certain that several of Mick and Mimi's lampshades got intimate with Berman's scalp.”

“It is likely that Mick jokes about remembering the "whipping blade" because Berman is not just a one-dimensional drunk: He's also a devotee of sadomasochism.”

“Here's an idea for a Magic Bullet recipe: Blend together some garlic, gin, and stale cigarette ash, and you'll have a good idea of what it's like to French kiss Hazel.”

“Yes, they may say that the Magic Bullet can replace all the appliances you got for wedding gifts, but it's hard to imagine any bride replacing everything in her kitchen with the sort of device you'd expect to find on the food preparation counter of a meth lab.”

ellie

2009-10-21T10:01:04Z

Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you say, "Why are we drinking this? This is nothing, it has no smell, no taste! Why are we—Why are we on a traffic island?"

All I'm saying is that if you get—I don't know—a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls.

1. Kristen Chenoweth’s guest appearance in Glee totally made the series worthwhile. April Rhodes, I love you more than I love Annabeth Schott and Olive Snook combined.

2. Bathurst people are hilarious drunken pieces of wonderful.

3. 42below passionfruit vodka is the yummiest alcoholic beverage ever. Particularly when combined with lemonade and headbanging to particularly awful 90s rock songs.

4. Hungry Jack’s onion rings are severely underrated.

5. My sister has type one (insulin dependent) diabetes; subsequently, there is now a ridiculously large supply of syringes in my house. Which is convenient if I ever get over my paralysing fear of needles long enough to become a heroin addict.

6. Everything sounds better when blasted from three separate stereos, all at full volume.

7. I am extremely good at both two- and three-player rummy, and absolutely shocking at blackjack.

8. I am a bad influence on people attempting to recover from a breakup. Although, it can’t be denied that my recipe of a disgustingly high-calorie binge + alcohol + chick flicks is effective, if somewhat detrimental to one’s overall health.

9. Gosford Hospital has been upgraded, and is now all fancy and shiny, and minus that horrific antiseptic smell.

10. There’s something about mid-afternoon vodka consumption whilst in pajamas make you question your life choices. For all of five minutes. Then you have a Black Books-esque moment in which you realise, in the midst of the alcohol and the nicotine and judging glances from your far more socially accepted loved ones - life is fucking awesome.

on the day before

2009-10-14T11:20:01Z

Well it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?

1. Apparently all you need to do to win the Nobel Peace Prize is not bomb the shit out of the Middle East.

2. Celebrity MasterChef is rigged. There’s no way Peter Fitzsimons didn’t deserve to get through – for fucks, it’s Peter “I Win At Life So Hard” Fitzsimons! Had they not read Kokoda? Tobruk? His witty and intellectual Sunday newspaper column? And don’t give me that shit about “MasterChef is a cooking competition, Bec, not a competition of awesome,” the man is a former rugby forward for the Wallabies and one of the greatest authors this country has produced, have some respect.

3. The producers of Hey Hey think it’s appropriate to show a blackface skit on Red Faces. Oh but they did make an apology ... no, my mistake, they only apologised to Harry Connick Jr. Not the rest of us who were utterly mortified that that type of skit was lauded as “just our good ol’ larrikin humour.” No, that’s racism. And it wasn’t even remotely funny.

4. To get top marks in Sociology, you only to do two things: have a basic knowledge of formal English, and use the word ‘gay’ in your essay twenty-nine times.

5. I’m beginning to see deadlines as more of a polite suggestion rather than something I actually need to adhere to.

6. First Tuesday Book Club is pretty much just an hour of swooning over Marieke Hardy / Jen Byrne. Who are, by the way, totally femslashing all over the place.

7. Behind their business suits, Epping people are pretty darn gangsta. All it takes is someone playing Nosebleed Section at full blast on their mp3 and suddenly half of platform five is nodding away with attitude.

8. I’m still bitter about the 2007 Hottest 100. Bitter, twisted and looking for revenge. Come on Mumford & Sons, don’t peter out now.

9. Myf Warhurst is a gorgeous, talented writer. In one article she made me laugh, cry and nod in agreement so much that I hurt my neck, all in fewer than seven hundred words.

10. Philly Jays, Yves Klein, Gin Wigmore and Howling Bells have been added to the Homebake line-up. Hurrah! Oh, and some musician named Paul Dempsey. He’s got this little solo album out, heard of him? WELL I HAVE AND I SHALL BE ON THE BARRIER SWOONING AND DANCING AND GRINNING LIKE A MAD WOMAN BECAUSE PAUL DEMPSEY IS EIGHTY-TWO KINDS OF WONDERFUL.

tomorrow

2009-10-07T01:12:11Z

You know I looked around
For faces I'd know
I fell in love
With the people in the front row.

1. I should listen to my instincts and not force myself to watch shows that I know will be horrifically pathetic. Dear Channel Nine – I’m sueing you for head injuries sustained whist watching the pile of nostalgic wankshite that was the Hey Hey reunion.

2. Celebrity Masterchef is nowhere as good as original Mastechef, but it’s still better than most things on tv. Plus it has Indira Naidoo + Peter Fitzsimons + Geroge Negus + Matt Preston + copious puns about bombe alaska. And cravats. Ahh, I've missed the cravats.

3. Fruit punch with passion pop and diamond nights is dangerously delicious.

4. Watching Dirty Dancing with Shannon, Ellie and Marie Claire will just end with them singing the final song at the top of their lungs, and me hiding under the blanket willing for it to be over.

5. There is nothing a glass of red wine, a well-worn collection of Edgar Allen Poe and a good rainstorm can’t fix.

6. My entire neighbourhood turns into a bogan nightmare on NRL Grand Final Day. I’m still walking past empty slabs of Tooheys.

7. I despise New Idea magazine and their horrific abuses of the English language. “She’s just touched down but she’s on cloud nine!” Fuck off you braindead half-witted purveyors of garbage. That’ll teach me to read anything less than a classic after reading Dickens.

8. Despite all efforts to the contrary, I am passionate about politics. Although most of the time it gets me into trouble, I’m pretty sure I just guaranteed myself top marks for my sociology lab thanks to yesterday’s discussion about interpreting Census data and the ways in which opinions polls are politically motivated and can harm the notion of the dissenting viewpoint. Thanks, politically-skewed sociology discussions!

9. Related: Most people, most of the time, are stupid. How hard is it to be engaged and knowledgeable about the political system in which you function? I don’t expect erudite discussions on the workings of inter-party political manoeuvrings and their impact on the validity of the leadership of the opposition, but for fucks sake at least know who the leader of the opposition is! Hint: it’s not John Howard, contrary to what no less than eight people in my lab believed. Obviously I’ve been spoiled with the people I associate with, given my absolute shock and horror that people had no idea what the Northern Territory Intervention was, or why the Iraq war was so unpopular.

10. ‘Erudite’ is my favourite word, and I use it to a wonderful excess.

let bartlet be bartlet

2009-09-29T04:42:14Z

So you speak out loud like a libertine
But you're just another cog in the great machine
In a cold bitter irony
You're a
Hero of the community

1. Robbie Buck is leaving triple j. Thankfully, he’s not doing a Myf by selling out to a commercial station, but it’s still wholeheartedly depressing.

2. National Philly Jays Day may just have been the smartest music marketing move since the Dappled Cities previewed their ‘Zounds’ album in storage warehouses decorated by local artists [both of which, incidently, I missed because of work. Employment, you are seriously cramping my indie style.]

3. The new Powderfinger track [and album, probably] may just be the reason I go absolutely fucking psycho at Homebake. Oh, my, god, so much love. It’s entirely possible I’ll even brave the Jet [*shudder*] set just to get a decent position front of mosh pit.

4. Petrovska ‘Tears of Bogan’ Vodka is like being smacked across the head with a plank of wood, and then punched in the stomach by a Volsk-weilding polar bear. You know it’s going to be horrific when it proudly proclaims on the bottle “Product of Australia.” Didn’t stop us polishing off almost a whole bottle in the space of an hour.

5. Related to #4: mixing rum and two types of vodka makes Shannon emotional, me angry and gives Ellie the worst hangover I have ever witnessed outside an emergency room. Goddamn but we are classy.

6. My first reaction to the apparent apocalypse on Wednesday was “oh fuck off, I’m trying to sleep here, and your creepy orange glow is too bright.” Well, at least I know that any future Armageddon won’t concern me in the slightest [unless it’s interrupting my sleep pattern] and that I’ll have no inclination to renounce my atheism and sweet-talk my way out of the depths of hell. Which, by the way, I totally could. I’m pretty good at talking my way out of trouble.

7. Matt Preston’s new book is called ‘Cravat-a-licious.’ And here I was thinking that he couldn’t get any more wonderful. Form an orderly queue, ladies, and try not to swoon too dramatically.

8. The Apprentice: Australia is significantly better than the original American version. The scenery is more gorgeous; the Trump-like figure uses words like ‘mate’ and ‘bloody hell;’ and the first challenge was outside the MCA. The MCA!

9. Muse is headlining BDO 2010, and thus I feel no obligation to buy a ticket. Hating Muse – Saving Bec’s Bank Balance Since 2009.

10. Glee slash!fics [especially Winn fics] are far more enjoyable when read on a Catholic school computer, while a giant Jesus stares down at you disapprovingly.

the fall's gonna kill you

2009-09-22T11:30:13Z

five ten fifteen twenty twenty-five thirty thirty-five forty forty-five fifty
all that money
and nothing to show for it.

1. I am such a gleek. Jane Lynch + Matthew Morrison are god, Glee Cast versions of songs are far better than original recordings, and there is the most insane amount of on-screen fodder for Will/Finn slashers.

2. ABC Kids VHS from the early nineties are just as enjoyable now than they were fifteen years ago, if not moreso. (Maybe because I’m far more aware of just how BLATANTLY FLAMBOYANTLY GAY they all were.)

3. Joe Hockey is just another pathetic LPA robot.

4. Jane Rutter has the greatest flute collection. “Oh yes, this is my shakuhachi, and over here is my $66,000 gold-plated instrument of *win*, and if you look over on this table there’s a couple of flutes which I don’t really play very much, but which cost more than my ENTIRE HOUSE.” Not jealous at all.

5. The cute chick from Garfunkel & Oates is the same chick who played Stephanie Gooch in Scrubs. Which makes ‘Sex With Ducks,’ ‘Weed Card’ and ‘Pregnant Women Are Smug’ all the more hilarious.

6. Secret Life of Bees had almost as much lesbian subtext as Fried Green Tomatoes. 1960s USA, we would have gotten along so damn well.

7. As much as I don’t let my sexuality define who I am, I do still care about gay issues. Case in point: on Hack today they were discussing mental health issues in the same-sex attracted community, with particular focus on the lack of action Beyond Blue has taken in this area just far. Listening to the Beyond Blue rep try to justify their position pissed me off something shocking – the claim “we didn’t have any research” doesn’t work when the research has been sitting there for SIX YEARS! I’m sorry, do you need a crash course in Jstor? Forgotten how to use Google Scholar? For fucks sake, I found mountains of research in just ten minutes, and I’m using the most BASIC of uni search engines. The stats are scary – 20% of gay men, and up to 30% of gay women in the 1-35 age bracket suffer from depression, compared to the 5% in the heterosexual population of the same age, and there is a far greater proportion of the 20%/30% who have suicidal ideation than in the 5%. Considering your whole point of existence is to reduce rates of suicide and depression in the community, MAYBE THESE STATS MIGHT INTEREST YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT. And another thing – the homophobic attitude of your director does influence the way in which your company addresses these issues. Jeff Kennet is a man who supported the firing of a football physio after it was revelled the physio was bisexual, and he then went on to equate homosexuality with paedophilia. Stop trying to justify his behaviour. Beyond Blue, you do a lot of incredible work, but sweetfa.com.au has a valid point. Stop demonising them, and start doing something to reduce the youth suicide rate in the gay community.

8. I enjoy employment far more when a Mickey Mouse t-shirt, fisherman pants and Havianas are considered appropriate workwear.

9. I’m far too impulsive for my own good. Thankfully, my darling Keirena totally understands and didn’t even blink when my first words to her today were “I’m getting a new, totally unplanned and spur-of-the-moment tattoo. Come with me!” She’s an awful influence, and I adore her for it.

10. I love my new tattoo, but it’s teaching me why people who get lower back tatts as their first ink often never get any more. Holy mother of knee high sachi boots, if Keirena hadn’t been there distracting me with a Russh magazine I may have actually asked for a breather (something I promised myself I’d never do – only wimps can’t handle one session!) Whole new level of pain, my friend.

isaac and ishmael

2009-09-15T13:38:49Z

This world ain't turning on us
This world is turning with us

1. I am apparently qualified to be an Applied Behaviour Analysis Therapist for an autistic child. Thanks to my wonderful / lovely / amazing boss at St Mary’s, I start on Thursday. Like me working at a primary school wasn’t scary enough.

2. According to voters on thesomewhatambitious, Short Stack is more disturbing than a guy talking about (and demonstrating) how he broke (yes, broke) his penis. Damn you, NFF. The price we pay for Tramdalf is indeed horrific.

3. I would watch Silent Witness even if it was poorly written, badly acted and full of glaring plot-holes, such is the power of Emilia Fox.

4. Ellen Degeneres is positively swoon-worthy when she dances with the sytycd top ten.

5. The only practical application of my history degree is that I can answer every single question on ADbc correctly, and often before the panellists. Which is great, if someone ever wants to employ me to watch tv history quiz shows and yell about Serbian nationalists at the television screen. That’s a career, right?

6. No matter how good I am at political or military history, there is always going to be the assumption that I’ll eventually move into social or (god forbid) feminist history or historiography, just because I’m female. That shit bores me to tears. Give me guns and battles and political manoeuvres any day, and fuck anyone who claims it’s too ‘masculine.’

7. “It wasn't whimsical. Tinkerbell is whimsical. This little fucker pisses on people." It’s entirely possible that United States of Tara is rivalling The West Wing for favourite show.

8. Having to study queer issues for the soc234 research proposal makes me remember why I’ve steadfastly refused to study anything in this area at uni.

9. Backyard couch + sunny deck + triple j + Orwell’s 1984 = absolute, utter contentment.

10. Tramdalf (!) exceeded all expectations (and not just because it was filmed and edited by Miklos Janek of Curiageous.) “YOU SHALL NOT PASS.” “*ding*” If you watch nothing else this year, watch Paul Verhoven dress up as Gandalf and face down a Melbourne tram.

the benign perogative

2009-09-12T11:56:36Z

stolen from whispered_envy

Using only EPISODE names from ONE TV SHOW, cleverly answer these questions. try not to repeat an episode title.

(Unsurprisingly) I used The West Wing, since I pretty much do this for the titles of the ‘ten things’ I do every week. And in hindsight, some of the answers probably only make sense if you know the actual episode synopsises, but oh well. It stopped me from writing my literature review for half an hour.

are you a male or female?: The Crackpots and These Women

how do you feel: Internal Displacement

describe where you currently live: Freedonia

if you could go anywhere where would you go?: Ninety Miles Away

your favourite form of transportation: 100,000 Airplanes

your best friend is: In The Shadow of Two Gunmen (Part One)

what’s the weather like: Impact Winter

favourite time of day: Tomorrow

if your life was a tv show, it would be called: Welcome To Wherever You Are

what is life to you: Take Out The Trash Day

your fear: The Warfare Of Genghis Khan

what is the best advice you have to give: Duck and Cover

thought for the day: Jefferson Lives

how i would like to die: We Killed Yamamoto

my soul’s present condition: Noel

my motto: Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

two weeks out

2009-09-08T13:22:04Z

Typing letters to the dead
Late at night
On a closed piano lid.

1. Dressing up as Gerard Way on a national tv program and making a few comments about the emo subculture will get you death threats over Twitter. Poor Josh Thomas.

2. I am much happier when the weather is miserable. Seeing the black clouds roll over the cheery sun made me cheer and do a victory dance in my kitchen. Go winter, go! Kill Spring before it can take hold!

3. Celebrity Masterchef is going to be frickin’ awesome. Indira Naidoo, George Negus, Peter Fitzsimons and Matt Preston, all in the one gorgeous fortnight of television. I’m already anticipating intellectual discussions about Palestinian autonomy while they assemble crocque-en-bouche. Ahh.

4. First Dog On The Moon is brilliant.

5. My dreams are getting trippier by the week. This week’s surreal journey through my subconscious: a zombie apocalypse attacked me in a grocery store, but it was ok because Silverchair were playing on the escalators wearing roller-skates and I was dating CJ Cregg. Then I had to pick out a frozen blueberry pie, which I took with me to my new job replacing Vijay Khurana on Triple J. Whose head office and main broadcasting studio, by the way, was a granny flat located in the parking lot of the aforementioned grocery store. Dear self: wtf? Love, me.

6. Singin’ In The Rain is my new favourite movie musical. It’s also the reason behind my skipping down Fravent Street, humming and twirling my umbrella in a frivolous and frolicsome manner. (It’s Toukley – as long as I don’t drive a tank down Main Street or blow anything up nobody cares.)

7. Meskipun saya tidak berkata-kata bahasa Indonesia selama dua tahun, saya mengingkat banyak kata yang saya belajar di sekolah. Oleh karena itu, saya mau belajar ulang bahasa Indonesia. (I blame that Facebook quiz. Although I’m pretty sure most of the above sentence is ridden with horrific grammatical errors. My grammar always was abysmal.)

8. My anti-social reflex can be obliterated by the combination of Circular Quay + yummy food + people whose company doesn’t want to make me live out my cynical existence in a hut outside Alice Springs.

9. The cure to my occasional ‘screw-this-degree-I’m-deferring-and-running-away-overseas-and-blowing-my-savings-on-warm-gin-and-flat-beer’ reflex is, ironically enough, research proposals. Oh yeah, this is why I’m putting myself through academic hell – it’s fun!

10. Tramdalf was finally conducted and filmed on Bourke Street today. Tramdalf! Fucking TRAMDALF! Nerds all over the nation are hyperventilating in anticipation, particularly as stills of Tramdalf (!) were released on Twitter. TRAMDALF! For the second time in as many weeks – Kudos, Paul Verhoven (+ Luke Ryan).

and it's surely to their credit

2009-09-01T09:25:17Z

Can I interest anybody in a little bit of Thoughtcrime?

1. Grapeshot magazine, whilst a piece of insipid and horrifically politically correct shit, makes a far better mouse pad for the uni computer labs than Peter Fitzsimon s’ biography of Les Darcy. Although the latter is far less likely to make me want to storm the student publication offices at Macq with a bazooka rifle and old copies of Speculum.

2. All Saints (the Australian drama / soap opera, not the UK band *shudder*) was surprisingly anti-Howard.

3. - Five skeins of DMC thread and an Aida backing = $14.25

- One new packet of shiny gold Birch xstitch needles = $5.18

- Walking into Spotlight Tuggerah to find that they’ve totally updated and expanded the xstitch section = Bec as giddy as a fat child in a chocolate shop.

4. Pictures of fruit in vaguely pornographic positions on lolly boxes make me smile. As does the accompanying article, which contained the brilliant quote: “the lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.”

5. This week, I have judged the people around me solely on their reactions to Ted Kennedy’s death. Anything short of utter devastation was immediate grounds for disownment.

6. Curiageous is the most bizarre and hilarious thing on the internet. Kudos, Paul Verhoven.

7. The vegetables have turned on me. Evidence – left ring finger, which is now sporting a rather nasty knife-related injury. Curse you, tomatoes! Curse you into hell!

8. Working in a primary school is all fine and dandy until the morning when you turn up on a mufti day, and the Year Six kids are suddenly larger and older-looking than you.

9. Creepy and r-rated Chas/Andrew werewolf!slash is hilarious enough, but becomes priceless when Chas himself links to it on his Twitter, with the tweet: “EXCLUSIVE: Someone's discovered what Andrew Hansen and I are up to. And it's all true!” (And it also begs the question – what exactly was he searching for when he stumbled upon that particular little gem?)

10. Bear in the Big Blue House is far more enjoyable when watched with a heavy metal soundtrack.

college kids

2009-08-25T13:46:15Z

Oh no it's unusual
I can't find my miracle
Oh no it's the usual
Why'd you go and fuck your miracle?

1. Downloading the kg-chart xstitch program may not have been the best idea I’ve ever had, primarily because I may have become slightly obsessed. To the point that I woke up at three am the other morning and spent two hours on the computer because I’d had an epiphany regarding a DMC thread shade transfer. DON’T JUDGE ME CROSS-STITCHING IS TOTALLY COOL AND HIP... kids still say ‘hip,’ right? Oh god I really am a grandma.

2. Applesauce is better than soy milk in vegan cupcake recipes.

3. The line-up for Macq’s 40^th Conception Day is unbelievably amazing - Bluejuice, Yves Klein Blue, Philadelphia Grand Jury + others (Wolfmother headlining,) all for just $10. I am, as you may imagine, exceedingly excited.

4. The feral neighbourhood cats have decided that the tin roof right above my bedroom is a really good place to fight. Every night. At four am. I’m all for animal rights, but it’s probably a good thing I don’t own a shotgun.

5. Homemade banana bread with cashews and sunflower kernels [vegan] is scarily addictive.

6. The seven-foot zombie!Jesus at Holy Spirit Church Kincumber is fucking scary.

7. Neale’s funeral also made me realise that I know exactly how I want my funeral. It’s very simple – Silverchair’s Diorama album played beginning to end, and a giant piss-up afterwards (not that the people I associate with would have any problem with the latter.) No religion, no fuss, and scatter my ashes over the steps of the Opera House. Simple. (oh, and if any religion whatsoever is involved, I’ll invent an afterlife just so I can come back and haunt the shit out of the idiot who thought something religious-y would be appropriate.)

8. I am actually a horrible, disrespectful, immature person. Note, if you will, the following list of Things I Wanted To Do Monday Which I’m Pretty Sure Make Me A Horrible Person:

~ Leave the Avenue Q badges on my handbag.

~ Play the Jess McGuire / Defamer film game at the wake.

~ Tweet from inside the church.

~ Close one eye so I didn’t have zombie!Jesus in my line of sight.

~ Roll my eyes every time someone mentioned getting a ‘sign from the beyond.’

~ Correct the grammar in one of the eulogies.

~ Play Catholic Schools Office Dignitary Bingo!™

(you’ll be pleased to know that I did none of the above; I do have some restraint. well, ok, I may have rolled my eyes a little, but for fucks sake, it’s almost impossible not to when you get told that “...and then the PHONE rang, JUST as I had been asking about a sign from him, and there was NO-ONE ON THE OTHER END AND THEN THEY HUNG UP AND THAT’S OBVIOUSLY A SIGN THAT HE’S IN HEAVEN.” Richard Dawkins would have a bloody field day with these people.)

9. Lipton Light Lemon Green Iced Tea only has six calories. That can’t be right.

10. Sociology labs are actually Stalker101, complete with surveillance magpies and flag-gazing Anglo bombers.

the crackpots and these women

2009-08-18T13:37:44Z

Orchestral tear cashflow
Increase / Delete / Escape / Defeat
It's all that matters to you
Cotton case
For an iron pill
Distorted eyes
When everything is clearly dying

1. According to the Chaser WOE Twitter, Julian + Andrew + Chas are going to be at the ABC Shop in Macq Centre on Thursday. Of course I will be there, and I promise to try and refrain myself from asking Andrew to marry me. Try.

2. The Paper Scissors were credited in a Chaser episode, which is so fantastically post-indie it hurts.

3. “Life is absurd and meaningless and full of nothingness.” (Dear Alan Alda: You freakin’ rock. Much love, Bec. )

4. Paul Dempsey recorded his solo album in a home studio in Macmasters Beach. And who owns this studio, you ask? Why, no other that Chris Joannou! (If you don’t know who this is, Google immediately and consider our friendship on very shaky ground.) And who photographed this wonderful convergence of musical genius? Only the supremely talented Boudist. Gahh, squeal, etc and so forth.

5. An empty Absolut 100 bottle makes for a rather spiffy flower vase, even if it does make the family question just how much I drink.

6. Listening to Silverchair tracks in alphabetical order gives a whole new perspective on some songs. Also makes me realise that I really need to get the post-Diorama / Young Modern b-sides asap.

7. My anti-Short Stack Tweets makes EMI music feel ‘warm and fuzzy inside.’ I aim to please.

8. There is no way you will wake up when your alarm goes off at 4:30am if you didn’t get to sleep until 3:15am.

9. Cancer is a complete fucking piece of shite that should fuck itself sideways with a rusty fucking chainsaw.

10. I make a seriously awesome vegan chocolate orange cake.

BONUS: Quantitative data extrapolated from the ‘Five Men For Whom I Would Possibly Consider Turning A Little Hetero’ list, as established in sociology lab #2, 18/08/2009. (Or, Ten Things I Have Learnt From Finally Finishing That Damned List After Three Years.)

1. 100% of the men on the list are musicians / somehow related to music.

2. 40% wear makeup on a regular basis.

3. 80% have had one or more mental illness/es.

4. 40% have the first name ‘Tim.’

5. 100% are Australian.

6. 40% are comedians.

7. 60% have been interviewed by Andrew Denton on Enough Rope.

8. 100% have appeared on ABC and Triple J at some point.

9. 100% wear skinny jeans almost constantly.

10. 60% have performed at Homebake and Big Day Out at some point.

From the above data, both IV and DV trend markers become apparent and thus the original hypothesis is proven positive – that is, that making Bec choose five men that she might possibly consider going a little hetero for is a painful, extensive and exhaustive exercise which only serves to prove how gay she truly is.

dead irish writers.

2009-08-11T12:11:17Z

Bad Idea Bear: Buy a whole case!

Princeton: A case of beers? No, I can't get a whole case.

Bad Idea Bear: But you're on a budget! You're wasting money in the long run if you don't buy in bulk!

1. Avenue Q is the greatest musical of all time. Even better when it’s the Sydney premier, and you won the tickets from samesame.com.au, and it’s a fundraiser for ACON, and half the gay community is there, and it’s at the Theatre Royal (heaven in theatre form, in my humble opinion), and there’s free champers + wine, and you take your wonderful, amazing, hilarious mum (who I think loved it more than me =]). Oh hell yes I’m gloating. Best. Night. Ever.

2. I squeal like a small girl when I win things.

3. People are infinitely more attractive in winter.

4. My tute kids doing well is the ultimate cure for a shitty day.

5. Watching Stephen Fry in America makes me want both an English taxi cab and a posh British accent.

6. My compulsory sociology class is basically year eleven society & culture, but with less Tully-Welly and more incredibly attractive soc/psych majors. Totally going to make the two hour lab worthwhile. (As is the fact that one of the computer program I have to learn has the acronym NUDIST. Oh you better believe I immaturely giggled over that one.)

7. Want to freak history students out? Put their tute room in the same building as the giant taxidermy bear. For a group of people who read about war atrocities every week, we are notoriously squeamish and easily scared.

8. Don’t get on a bus that’s spewing noxious gas and making strange clunking noises. You’ll just end up on the side of the Pacific Highway, watching a construction-worker bogan fight an equally classy Busways driver.

9. My optometrist is more interested in September 11 conspiracy theories than the fact that my eyesight is getting progressively more shite.

10. Homebake presale tickets go on sale tomorrow at midday. So. Excited.

365 days.

2009-08-04T14:55:28Z

This town's skipping like a record
Reruns get me so bored
So with enough that I can afford
Lets get lost
Again

1. Most people, most of the time, are monumentally idiotic. Case in point: forcing your fourteen year old daughter to be strapped to a lie detector and answer personal, probing questions knowing that she had been sexually assaulted two years previous. Oh, and let’s broadcast it on a fucking radio show!

2. Censorship pisses me off more than almost any other issue. Are Kyle & Jackie O bogan shock jocks with nothing to say and even less decorum or sense of common decency? Yes. Should they be taken off air? No. I don’t like them, so I don’t listen to them. It really is as simple as that.

3. Questionable Content really is a bloody good webcomic.

4. Turning twenty gives people existential crises. Comforting to know I’m not the only one, but didn’t really alleviate the whole ‘oh-god-I-haven’t-achieved-anything-my-life-is-half-over-what-is-the-meaning-of-life-must-be-successful-and-happy-oh-for-fucks-i-am-a-monumental-failure’ thing I have running through my head.

5. As much as I adore Alan Alda, reading ‘Things I Overheard While Talking To Myself’ in the car on the way to Canberra really didn’t help with aforementioned existential crisis. It is a brilliant book though.

6. Canberra roadtrip was certainly three days of revelations (particularly from one Ms. Balcomb.) It also made me realise that I’m one of the lucky few who found the perfect degree and university for me so early.

7. ‘O-Week’ at Macq Uni is now called ‘Diversity Week.’ Oh Macq, I’ve missed your inherent left-wing wank.

8. My history degree has left me scarily desensitised to graphic depictions of war violence. Nice try, Remarque, but it’s going to take more than a few corpse-shields and descriptions of infected amputations to make this little cold-hearted student queasy.

9. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a morning person. Thankfully my earliest class this semester is 11am, and even that’s difficult to get sufficiently awake for.

10. HIST253 may actually destroy what little is left of my sanity.

lord john marbury.

2009-07-29T02:36:04Z

Keep the glass topped up
It's not over just yet
Pull off the social bluff
Celebrate your success
Turn the sunlight out
Find a place in the shade
If you measure the world
By the mark that you've made.

1. The discovery of WebMD has made me even more of a hypochondriac (if that was even possible). Am now convinced I have no less than eight incurable illnesses, and am simply biding time until certain death.

2. The Footpath Library, an awesome charity which supplies books to homeless people, is supported by Peter FitzSimons (ex-Wallaby rugby international; master of four languages; journalist; phenomenal non-fiction author; one of my favourite people ever.) Yes, I learnt the above information from the sappy, domestic piece of crap television that is Random Acts of Kindness. But still, Peter FitzSimons! Bow, scrape, pay respects etc.

3. Related to Lesson #2, I have realised the full extent to which I am a rugby union snob. Compared to league, union is smarter, tougher, more tactical, more brutal, better sponsored, more responsible, more community-minded, international, and the fans are far superior in every respect (we are particularly better-looking than our hillbilly league cousins, and our heckling is witty and passionate. Evidence: Aust. V France, Wallaby fans heckled the Frenchies in French, and later in Italian in a hilarious nod to those crazy Euro-rivalries within the Six Nations comp. HECKLING IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE IS THAT NOT WONDERFUL AND TERRIBLY CULTURED etc.) Such snobbery bodes well for the fact that I’m being dragged to an NRL game this Saturday. I still haven’t ruled out wearing my Wallabies scarf and continually muttering about aforementioned union superiority while drinking Bundy and reading FitzSimons’ biography of Nick Farr-Jones.

4. thepunch.com.au is slowly but surely restoring my faith in Australian journalism / politics. Intelligent people respectfully disagreeing and having in-depth conversations and examinations of pertinent issues, and politicians not being afraid of appearing ‘too smart’ for the Australian public. About bloody time.

5. I am too stubborn for my own good.

6. Post-haircut world is decidedly more colourful and lively than pre-haircut world. Turns out the insanely long fringe was blocking out quite a lot. Hair style is exactly the same, but less ‘lion’s mane’ (as mother dear took to calling it) and more ‘manageable bed-hair.’ Hurrah! It’s the little things.

7. Stevie Wonder is a fucking genius.

8. Macq Uni really does have the best holidays. Not having to go to uni is vastly more enjoyable when everyone else (bar fellow Macq-ers) is slaving away in first week classes. Ah, the unparalleled joy of reading facebook status after facebook status bemoaning having to go back to uni while you sit in you pajamas at two in the afternoon, drinking red wine and listening to Patrick Wolf. This is what the life of a dole bludger must feel like.

9. Twitter trending topics are only really useful for finding out who’s died.

10. You know you’re obsessed with a certain debonair food critic when you find yourself watching Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader just for a glimpse of their cravat.

post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

2009-07-22T13:36:54Z

Lily won't you wake up
Stand up
Wipe off that makeup
You look like a panda
That hasn't had a feed
Since the start of the year.

1. I enjoy tutoring / reading recovery program far more than originally thought. I haven’t turned into one of those ‘oh aren’t children adorable and not at all annoying’ saps but I am missing the mini-humans.

2. I should probably stop listening to Neon Ballroom and Diorama on repeat, if only because I use them as a substitute therapy and it’s less effective when they’re a constant soundtrack.

3. I need a haircut. It’s moved from the annoyingly-long stage to the i-can’t-see-anything-oh-god-who-turned-out-the-lights stage.

4. There’s apparently a lesbian scene in the film clip for Paul Mac’s (feat. Peta Morris) ‘Just The Thing.’ Odd that I hadn’t noticed that before, considering that it was that track which sparked my obsession with the mulleted electro god, and the fact that I’m ~~a little bit~~ significantly dykey.

5. I am extremely well-suited to the life of a hermit.

6. Being ill, and thus not being to prepare my own food, turns me into a whinging, neurotic psycho. My poor mother has the patience of a saint.

7. Having the flu also makes me incredibly sappy. Things that have made me cry like a pathetic girl in the last few days : no less than three Silverchair songs, two scenes in Hey Hey It’s Esther Blueburger, the Hallelujah scene in The West Wing, the dvd remote not working, my pillow being too squishy, the bread being non-vegan, pretty much all of Gavin & Stacey, Twitter not loading properly, my new tattoo being itchy, and a missing ugg boot. Dear flu, fuck off and die so I can get back to being a cold, heartless bitch. Kthxbai.

8. My otherwise lovely cousin has a shite taste in men.

9. Josh Pyke is touring with Gin Wigmore and Fergus Brown in October. This is my second favourite line-up of ’09 (close second to the Philly Jays / Yves Klein Blue doubleheader at OAF that I missed by one week, and I’m not likely to get over that pain anytime soon thanks for asking.)

10. Not being at uni is starting to drive me a little insane.